Campbell’s Queensland

Campbell's Queensland

Dear Subject,

You are by now aware that my LNP Government has delivered the strongest and smartest budget in Queensland’s history.

Read more about our amazing budget and how it’s going to rock your world!

I am your Can Do Premier and I am happy to take credit for everything good about this great state. Everything bad is obviously the fault of the previous Government.

We are returning Queensland to having the highest level of unemployment in mainland Australia. This is Queensland’s rightful place as I know I came here from Tasmania to enjoy the climate – not to work.

In addition we have managed to make the budget deficit worse. The AAA credit rating that mattered so much when Anna Bligh was Premier is no longer important (just ask the Courier Mail – they’ll agree).

By already cutting services to Queenslanders we are thoughtfully preparing you for a future when private companies may be providing these services to those who need them. You won’t miss what you never had, right?

I have managed to reduce the conditions of employment and freeze the wages of employees delivering frontline services to Queenslanders. I gave myself a $70,000 annual wage increase just to set an example on fair wages!

And pensioners and concession card holders will thank me for giving them the chance to exercise more. Why catch the bus to the doctors when you can walk!

I know I made a lot of promises before being elected in 2012 but you never really meant me to keep to my word did you? It’s not like I was really going to deliver integrity or honesty.

In any case I suspect Queenslanders have short memories. I am counting on you to forget my broken promises and the regular scandals involving LNP members at the next election, and just remember what I’ve done to Queensland.

So ladies and gentleman, with compliments, enjoy the best budget ever!

On behalf of Campbell Newman,
from ‘Campbell’s Queensland’

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